Le jeu est en cours. The game is in progress. My existence moves between the different steps on a board game. Step by step, into new phases. I am told that in order to win the game I must complete each step and never look back. My present troubles and the events of my past do not matter all that much, because they shall pass. That’s what I am told.
Though I have come to realise that my mind does not agree with such a pasing of time. Some moments are escalated up the ladder as my imagination projects me to the future. While other times the reptile bites and pulls me back - slithering through the memories of my childhood and adolescence. I am bound to them. I must keep going back before I can move forth. It’s a move I can’t control. And therefore, a move I must accept. As much as I accept that I cannot be certain of my future, I know that once I am there I shall still be connected to all the snakes and ladders of my life. It shall all jump -
back and forth,
back and forth,
back and forth.
The temporality of my existence is not measured by numbers and it is certainly no linear being. I cannot just move into each new step, one at a time. The pendulum beats illogically back and forth, back and forth, back and forth. Through each breath I may find myself in any place between the start and the finishing line. My mind lets me daydream about upcoming times and pulls me back when it is necessary to revisit the past. Nothing slips through, nothing tries to glide off the edge, nothing passes nor tries to. My mind revisits everything, always. It all accumulates. My life is nothing more than an accumulation of steps on the board game.
I think we all experience time in the way Bergson describes it. When I am with someone I love, I experience an anxiety of wanting to hold on to every second, wanting to hold onto time. It is not possible to do, off course. That desire to hold on to time takes away from the joy of being in the moment. I wonder if in the “freedom” part, Bergson talks about experiencing complete joy and immersion in the present.
How lovely, Sanja. Thanks for that. I had a similar idea which I've written up and will post soon. The notion that when you're with someone you love, if you're truly present, it's as if you momentarily share your subjective experiences of time. Like the overlapping section of a Venn diagram. In this sense, it's like time is a river flowing between the two of you and you're on opposite sides of the bank, but then you jump in and experience its flow together. I like your point about wanting to cling on to time. I think this was the driving force behind Proust's In Search of Lost Time.
Was just thinking about this this morning! Somehow, when I’m in a rush to get to work, time moves quickly! I arrive there in 10mins instead of 5 for example, and while I’m in the car it’s a race against the clock! However, given the same roads and same timings, when I’m not in a rush, time moves slower! I reach there in 3 mins by car! Whatt
‘Lived’ theories of time are arguably even more fascinating than scientific ones! The way in which conceptions of time vary between people and cultures reveals such a lot about the values/assumptions behind our different ways of life. Thank you for introducing me to Bergson, I had not heard of him!
I tripped one day and I felt myself falling forward and the fall in my mind seemed to happen very slowly.
Yes, I’m sure
Noted. I'm not 100% well too at this moment but i'll try my best to be there before or on Christmas. Take care & no worries 🙂
Le jeu est en cours. The game is in progress. My existence moves between the different steps on a board game. Step by step, into new phases. I am told that in order to win the game I must complete each step and never look back. My present troubles and the events of my past do not matter all that much, because they shall pass. That’s what I am told.
Though I have come to realise that my mind does not agree with such a pasing of time. Some moments are escalated up the ladder as my imagination projects me to the future. While other times the reptile bites and pulls me back - slithering through the memories of my childhood and adolescence. I am bound to them. I must keep going back before I can move forth. It’s a move I can’t control. And therefore, a move I must accept. As much as I accept that I cannot be certain of my future, I know that once I am there I shall still be connected to all the snakes and ladders of my life. It shall all jump -
back and forth,
back and forth,
back and forth.
The temporality of my existence is not measured by numbers and it is certainly no linear being. I cannot just move into each new step, one at a time. The pendulum beats illogically back and forth, back and forth, back and forth. Through each breath I may find myself in any place between the start and the finishing line. My mind lets me daydream about upcoming times and pulls me back when it is necessary to revisit the past. Nothing slips through, nothing tries to glide off the edge, nothing passes nor tries to. My mind revisits everything, always. It all accumulates. My life is nothing more than an accumulation of steps on the board game.
Looking forward to seeing your post.
I think we all experience time in the way Bergson describes it. When I am with someone I love, I experience an anxiety of wanting to hold on to every second, wanting to hold onto time. It is not possible to do, off course. That desire to hold on to time takes away from the joy of being in the moment. I wonder if in the “freedom” part, Bergson talks about experiencing complete joy and immersion in the present.
How lovely, Sanja. Thanks for that. I had a similar idea which I've written up and will post soon. The notion that when you're with someone you love, if you're truly present, it's as if you momentarily share your subjective experiences of time. Like the overlapping section of a Venn diagram. In this sense, it's like time is a river flowing between the two of you and you're on opposite sides of the bank, but then you jump in and experience its flow together. I like your point about wanting to cling on to time. I think this was the driving force behind Proust's In Search of Lost Time.
Was just thinking about this this morning! Somehow, when I’m in a rush to get to work, time moves quickly! I arrive there in 10mins instead of 5 for example, and while I’m in the car it’s a race against the clock! However, given the same roads and same timings, when I’m not in a rush, time moves slower! I reach there in 3 mins by car! Whatt
Ha! So true
‘Lived’ theories of time are arguably even more fascinating than scientific ones! The way in which conceptions of time vary between people and cultures reveals such a lot about the values/assumptions behind our different ways of life. Thank you for introducing me to Bergson, I had not heard of him!
Love this, you’re welcome!